Choosing Truth in the Battle: This Single Girls Anthem for Strength and Sanity

I have been thinking about this blog for months and I have wrestled with my emotions and God regarding this topic for a long time.  But it is time to feel, deal, heal and now reveal.  

Over the past couple months the following interactions have been a few of my experiences with men: First, I have been relentlessly hit on by a married man at work.  These weren’t passive flirtations that can be taken with a grain of salt, these were forward uncomfortable passes.  Second, the most recent man I dated communicated that if he wasn’t in his current relationship, he would be extremely interested in me (as if it were a compliment). Lastly, I asked a friend to join me for a wedding so I wouldn’t have to attend alone and I received absolutely NO response.  We carried on like the question wasn’t ever asked. 

While, I admire the women who could have these interactions and think nothing of them, I of course couldn’t possibly be that simple.  These exchanges rocked my world.  You see in high school all my friends had boyfriends, but me.   I was always the best friend, the great girl to hang out with but not to date, the one that was never desired or chased and always felt invisible when it came to guys. These recent interactions only fueled that fire.   They became lies that sounded like, ‘if it wasn’t for my wife, I would choose you,’ ‘if it wasn’t for my girlfriend, I would choose you,’ or bluntly ‘I’m not interested in you, you’re not even worth a response.’ These experiences painfully affirmed what  were already my tender insecurities. I couldn’t help but have the thoughts, ‘Why am I ALWAYS second runner up?’ and the typical ‘What is wrong with me?’   On a drive to work I was struggling with why this was happening to me when good ol’ K-Love, a radio station, played JJ Heller’s song titled “Who You Are.”  Her wise words state:

‘Lord, I don’t know what you are doing, but I know who You are.’

With one simple chorus I understood what God was teaching me in the midst of all this painful chaos.  All I can say is ‘Jesus, I really don’t know why these crazy interactions are happening, but I do know who you are….and that is enough for me.  The God I serve says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11.  I will choose to stand on His truth over all my crazy emotions and lies this world tells me .  So in this tough, sometimes lonely and frustrating season of singleness, I have chosen to make this my anthem.  “Lord, I do not know what you are doing with my singleness, but I know who you are and I couldn’t ask for more.